things on my bookshelf that maybe shouldn't be there

- blonde wig, shoulder-length bob, straight bangs
- plastic produce bag with a round piece of soap in it
- box printed with image of a set of encyclopedias - in the box, nothing

Hey, if you want to laugh your ass off, go listen to Margaret Atwood reading "Payback" on CBC's Massey Lectures. I'll try to find the link later.

She reads in this unbelievable monotone that will slowly loosen your grip on sanity. Plus she's whip-smart and very funny.

I know you are but what am I?

Well, looks like I missed two days. Whoops.

I know it's really childish of me but I'm still really enjoying Sarah Palin, even moreso now that she's back in Alaska where she has little influence on how things go in the rest of the world. What a nightmare she would have been in Washington.

Most recently, I dearly love how she responded to the allegations that she didn't know what countries were in NAFTA or that Africa was a continent. All in the same semi-coherent, rambling sentence, she defended herself against the people who burned up the phone lines to CNN, calling their actions "immature" and "unprofessional"... just before she calls them "jerks". AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA.  Pot!! Kettle!!!*

I'll be over this soon, but it really made me giddy to see her lose after she was part of such a low-down dirty campaign and after her many nauseating displays of ignorance and arrogance.

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* Fortunately, I'm more than happy to own up to the fact that I'm immature, unprofessional AND a jerk.

got to run, have a date

So tonight's post will be an easy one:



AHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAAA

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Update: I hasten to humbly add that Canada isn't any better.

I really enjoyed this

Yeah, the Newsweek Special Election Project.

This is my favourite part:

The debates unnerved both candidates. When he was preparing for them during the Democratic primaries, Obama was recorded saying, "I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me...answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I fucking changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'.

\

And oh god oh god oh god the rumours that he might appoint Robert Kennedy to head up the EPA are AWESOME. That'd be like getting our own amazing Elizabeth May (who utterly spanked all the other party leaders in the national debates) set up as Canadian Environment Minister. Imagine! A smart, qualified, articulate, proven environmental activist in charge of a national environment portfolio!

(I know, Chomsky, I know, it's still politics old-school, but for now it's all we've got.)

Incidentally, I also really enjoyed this, AND the fact that I found it by googling images for "monkeys flinging poo":

yayayayayayay!!!

OK, maybe it's premature, but I'm excited.

I was trying to explain to a friend the other day how growing up as a kid in the Trudeau era in Canada (and to give credit, with parents like mine) meant that you were inundated with visions of a racism-free, hopeful, country where things were fair, generous and kind - no not just country - WORLD. Being a kid in the 70s was on the tail of all that socially revolutionary stuff of the 60s, and we were told that we were free to be you and me, that it was fine for boys to have dolls, that being gay was no big deal, that colour of the skin means nothing.

But then you grow up a bit more and you see that while that's what we supposedly want, it's mostly white dudes in power, with women few and far between, being gay means you often get treated like a pariah, and you get to see how race IS an issue despite all those dreamy ideas we had (and have).

As I write this, Obama has 196 electoral votes, and McCain has 163. But Obama is leading in 96 electoral votes that are still undecided, and McCain is only leading in 26.

This might sound kind of corny, but I'm not only FUCKING OVERJOYED for every non-white kid who has felt subconsciously - or consciously - that they can't REALLY be President or Prime Minister or whatever the hell else they set their sights on, and is now (hopefully) having that psychological barrier shattered, but I'm fucking overjoyed for everyone else. It's about time!!!!

but I am LE TIRED

Trying to post every day in November. I can't possibly have any remaining readers, though, can I?

Dog is at my feet, chewing at a once-stuffed plush rabbit that he has carefully turned inside out. He finds a way to bite its remaining plastic bit slowly with his front teeth, so that it sounds like nails on a chalk board.

I can't think of anything else to write. Pour me some wine, please.

let's stay sprung

Sprung forward, that is. What the hell with the sun now setting at 5PM or whatever? Why can't we just leave it as 6PM? I'm not into falling back.

Speaking of falling back, please, America, don't elect McCain/Palin on Tuesday. I was in Europe in 2004 when you elected Bush for a second time and you would not believe how stupid THAT made you look. Everyone else in the world looked on in horror. I just don't get how so many middle and working class Americans end up voting Republican, when Republican policies FUCK OVER the middle and working class.

dude loves playing christ figures when his moses robes aren't around

WTF? We bought like 150 mini chocolate bars and only 6 kids came to the door.

So we kicked in the pumpkin, turned out the lights, threw the dog's dinosaur costume in the garbage, and went down to the basement to watch that asshole Charlton Heston in The Omega Man.



Our friend Bord Goner just got back from Vancouver, and he showed up just in time to help us talk through the entire movie. With a movie like that, you can't help but shout out inane commentary. It helps pass the time.

"Jeez, Charlton, put your shirt back on. No one wants to see your hairy man boobs. I mean, GOD! I think he's been shirtless for like, two-thirds of this thing."

"I hate his decor. He might own masterpieces but it's just wall clutter if you hang it like that."

"Imagine the zombie trip to the fabric store when they were putting together their new undead outfits. 'I'm looking for something black and sinister, but with some shimmer and texture. Something that really says "The FAMILY!"'"*

Welcome back, Bord!!!!


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* I don't know how to blog the enthusiastic jazz hands that go with that last bit.