Thursday, March 01, 2007

the alpha vs the omega

I know someone who is always trying to get me to go to the Alpha course, because she knows I'm fascinated by faith and religion. I couldn't be less interested for two reasons: 1) My family motto might as well be: "We aren't joiners." 2) Give me a fucking break.

In discussing this Alpha course thing with another friend, I joked, "Sign me up for the Omega course. I hear that there's more drinking allowed on those ones, and you can sit around and listen to music as you wait for hell to envelop you."

I thought I just made it up, but as it turns out, there already IS an Omega course, (and it doesn't sound like much fun at all -- even though it momentarily sounded okay when I thought that it might be run by the International House of Pancakes, aka "the other IHOP").

Nevertheless, maybe I'll start my own. The food will be delicious, and each week we'll walk to a different park and hang out, sometimes (or always?) with beer or wine, (though nobody will be required to drink). On the agenda, things like daydreaming, making each other laugh, maybe ad hoc poetry slams, feeding the ducks, kicking around a soccer ball, and occasionally not showing up at all because you need to stay home and do laundry.


At March 01, 2007 3:45 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, it's Mike. Perhaps we'll start a course where we send people into a spruce bog without food or water and run them down with horse and club. At the end of the two weeks they'll (for sure) be spiritually clean. What do you think?

At March 01, 2007 4:11 p.m., Blogger Drew said...

I think your Omega course should involve dramatic re-enactments of "The Omega Man"

Heston's finest hour on the silver screen.

At March 02, 2007 8:26 a.m., Anonymous blackbeltbarrister said...

or perhaps a course where we learn every conceivable source of Omega 3 fatty acids?

'the Omega Man'- I don't know, could that possibly match the dizzy heights of 'Soylent Green'?

At March 02, 2007 3:01 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Mike here. Come to think of it, just sitting quietly and WATCHING The Omega Man should be enough to do the trick. Pure spiritual enlightenment. However, if spirits begin to flag we follow it up with The Octagon, followed immediately by Missing In Action.

At March 08, 2007 11:37 a.m., Blogger Jonathan said...

I want to join your group. It sounds much better than the Alpha courses, which (in my opinion, before anybody tries to set fire to me) are just a disguised take on trying to enlist more people into organised religions.

I might have to blog about this.


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