worst jobs

Mr. Able: i worked for my dad once

Roo: how was it?

Mr. Able: he paid me 10 pounds to scrape barnacles off of about 200 planks
how was it? it was absolutely fucking horrible
you can't imagine the smell
and barnacles? they don't WANT to come off

Roo: jesus
that is hilarious and awful

Mr. Able: yeah
that and gutting whelks are probably my two least favourite jobs ever

Roo: what the hell are whelks?

Mr. Able: large shellfish
you have to remove their gut cos it is full of sand
so you squeeze them until the end of the gut pops through the skin, then grab hold and yank it out

Roo: oh god
that's disgusting
in the worst job ever category, A and my friend Chris McC always tells of a biology student who got a job masturbating rats in a lab

Mr. Able: frankly wanking rats would be a doddle compared to gutting whelks

Roo: hahahahaaaaa

Mr. Able: i bet they have rat wanking sticks or something

Roo: I think he had to use his fingers
my friend Graham had a job working in the field as a bio student and he had to milk red squirrels

Mr. Able: whereas whelks? you have to pull the guts out with your fingers

Roo: grasping their tiny teets between forefinger and thumb

Mr. Able: and they are slippery!
jesus

Roo: fuck, that whelk job takes the cake I think

Mr. Able: you can milk anything with nipples

Roo: hey
I want to post some of this convo
on my blog

Mr. Able: do it do it do it!

Roo: ok

Mr. Able: i remember blogs
are people still writing those things
how quaint
i can barely keep up with tweets nowadays
my brain is fucked