"Love, I come!", or, 1994: the dawn of my relationship with email

I just found this "floppy disk" with my old emails from 1994 to 1997 on it. Yes.

A selection:

LEMURS

Date: Wed, 7 Dec 1994 12:55:17 -0800 (PST)
From: monika
To: roo
Subject: about lemurs


oddly enough, on the topic of lemurs, i just subscribed to lemur fan newsgroup and there are people in this world who have a lemur conference every year. maybe i will go this year and meet all the friendly lemurs currently residing in north carolina (that's where the conference is)

this internet thing is just making me tickle myself in all sorts of private places. i want a modem a good computer adn i would be hooke dup day and night. dear god, the computer age is coming and i want a piece of it!!!

love monks

SPECULUM INSERTION

Date: Thu, 1 Dec 1994 23:19:31 -0600 (CST)
From: "Mike"
To: roo@xxxx.ubc.ca
Subject: the drunken politician weeps upon the streets

i have had a long day today. i went to this seminar by this relatively famous guy and while it was pretty good, my reaction to him was the same as my reaction to all relatively famous guys: what a bloody narcissist. i wonder why narcissism looks so unbecoming on *other* people. and these people that think they've figured it all out (he, by the way, thinks he knows what all the determinants of health are and how to go about making healthy people) they're just saying, in their own idiosyncratic, selective way, what people have always recognized. they just think it sounds better than what people were saying 4000 years ago because it's their own voice saying it. and the audience likes their story because they're charismatic, you know, their voice sounds good and their hair is right.

so it's all the same old news.

did i mention that i bought a book on physical examination today? i have to admit i feel tempted to linger over the pages that outline speculum insertion. why are the pictures black and white?

ABSTINENCE

From roo@xxxxxx.ubc.ca Fri Apr 12 23:22:17 1996
Date: Fri, 12 Apr 1996 23:22:15 -0700 (PDT)
To: Adam
Subject: dubious coherency and relation

i suppose you will not get this note until monday, since you non-students enjoy the life of leisure which includes weekends where you can just fuck off and eat shit. i am finishing up my last paper and reading the crazed political treatises of ayatollah khomeini and sipping vermouth.

anyway, everyone around me is getting laid these days except me and as usual i have four hundred crushes but they are all on stupid people, like the hot waiter at the fringe cafe who flirts outrageously with me etc. so another spate of abstinence,
here i come. (not literally, of course.)

which reminds me of a famous passage in that poem by christopher marlowe:

"And with that he stripped him to the ivory skin/
and crying "Love, I come!" leapt lively in."

the guy is talking about going swimming, but is it a good double entendre, don't you think?

love from roo