Friday, June 20, 2008

breaking up is hard to do

Well, it seems that I'm trying to kick coffee, booze and sugar. I'll be hard-core about it for a few weeks, then lighten up about a frosty beer here, a dessert there.

The reasons for sugar are obvious: it's plain old bad for you. It's in almost everything now, even your mayonnaise. However, with a bit of Type 2 diabetes in the family and my occasional day-destroying mood tailspins that are so obviously related to my fluctuating blood sugar, I'd be a dumbass to keep riding the sugar train.

In regards to the caffeine and booze, it's mostly because I've been craving these things a little TOO much lately, and I'm uncomfortable with being held so tightly in the grip of these substances. I don't want to need anything so badly to help me wake up or chill out.

Alcohol is no real problem; I'll just play with my hilarious puppy to unwind.

Sugar? Yes, I crave you, but you are a bastard who never treated me right in the first place. My resentment is palpable and gives me strength to slam the door in your face and hang up the phone on you several times a day until you get the message.

However, because I'm a caffeine junkie who loves her coffee so strong and thick and dark that you could tar the roof with it, I'm now suffering crippling multi-day full-body headaches radiating from my occiput. Coffee, you psychopath, I kissed you goodbye, and you kicked me in the base of the skull! Asshole, that is called assault. I had hoped you would handle our breakup like an adult and take away only fond memories of our good times together. I am SO disappointed in you. Don't think I won't get a restraining order if I have to.

(My favourite part is the girl on the left shushing someone during the intro.)


At June 20, 2008 4:50 PM, Anonymous Bronwyn said...

why does everyone in the audience look so awkward?

I've also recently decided to cut out the booze, sweets and caffeine...after tonight...or maybe tomorrow night!

Good Luck!

At June 21, 2008 11:36 AM, Blogger TitanKT said...

Okay, first of all that video was absolutely delightful. What a little PUPPY Neil Sedaka was! And the lip-syncing! He did it so gracefully! And the girls who wanted to badly to at least act like they were singing and were obviously told NOT to by the frightened look in their eyes when they forgot themselves. The host's, "What a gas, man!" and his teeny microphone. Ohhhh, so good!

Now, I came here because of your comment on Fussy's blog about evening primrose oil helping with cramps. Is that right? Do you take it in pill form? How much do you take?

I have VERY bad cramps, or actually I think my issue is more just that my periods are very clotted and it hurt to pass my uterine lining in about three large pieces... sorry if that's gross, but, you know... it IS gross and wildly painful.

Anyway, I have some Vicodin but it makes me dizzy and nauseated, so I don't love it. I have some 800mg Motrin, but recently discovered that eats a big hole in my stomach and I'd rather have the menstrual pain. So I take Tylenol, which just barely dulls the pain. I'm extremely interested to hear about something that will help, more than Tylenol.

My email is Thanks!

At June 23, 2008 11:43 AM, Blogger The Dude said...

Huh. I always thought that song was performed by the chipmunks.

Good luck w/ the mormonization. You need a replacement addiction to fill the gaping, empty hole left by sugar, booze and caffeine. I recommend cake decoration.

At June 28, 2008 8:17 PM, Blogger visionbird said...

i stopped eating sugar two days ago and pretty much immediately felt way better! like i'm finally not poisoning myself!


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