Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I'm so mature

I have successfully trained my puppy to shit when I give the command to "Lay Some Pipe".

Buoyed by my success, I now feel that anything is possible. Perhaps we'll now work on:

That Stinks! = look ashamed and wordlessly take the blame for mommy's toot

Martinis! = please hold mommy's hair back while she barfs

Any other suggestions?

UPDATE: I have been informed by MANY that "Laying Pipe" really means "doing it" and by "doing it" I mean "having sexual intercourse". Well I'll be darned. So I've switched to "Lay Some Logs"...


At June 19, 2008 12:49 a.m., Blogger debandpete said...

Lay Some Pipe is a great command. Much better than 'dump-a-dump' (or 'wet-a-wet') that MH uses. Ruby occasionally responds to the very modest command Hurry Up. She is learning the Dignity command though - stop begging and step away from the food.

At June 19, 2008 2:44 a.m., Blogger Jonathan said...

When I was a kid, my parents always told the dog to "go be busy" - how rubbish is that?

You could always teach it to fart to Flash Gordon commands - "Despatch Warlock and Ajax!"

At June 19, 2008 11:45 p.m., Blogger Ryan said...

"Scavenge!" That's become a daily one for us now that we have a toddler with messy eating habits.


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