Friday, May 02, 2008

a dinner I have recently regretted

1/2 cup prunes and a glass of white wine

Why? Why? Why?

I'm not on some stupid diet, I've just been busy. Wrong on every level conceivable, the prune part started out as an innocent snack while I vegged in front of the TV for the first time in months.* (I don't have cable at home and was hanging out at my mom's.) Then I poured myself a glass of wine, which was meant more as a pre-dinner drink, but as I did not end up eating anything else, this magical combination came to constitute my dinner. Two hours later, there was hell to pay.**

This all reminds me of a magazine ad from the 1950's that a friend cut out and made into a birthday card for me a little while ago. "Do you want to feel the bubbling buoyancy of youth?" it cheerfully asked. After extolling the prune's many supposedly primary virtues (high in iron, tasty, healthy source of energy, etc.) it casually and discreetly mentioned that prunes were also good for keeping you regular.

Maybe I went about it all wrong, but that's just not the kind of regular*** I'm interested in.

* It's really easy to just eat one prune then another, like popcorn, and somehow ingest half a cup without ever really intending to.

** Payee might be accurately identified as the toilet bowl in the yellow bathroom on the second floor; I am not going to get into describing the hell part. You're welcome.

*** or bubbling


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