Thursday, May 03, 2007

Sorry to start this like a bad stand-up routine...

But did you ever notice how when one half of a couple goes away, all the other couples they're friends with rush in with offers of "oh, you must come for dinner so you don't have to be alone!" and "we'll take care of you while he/she is away" and "let's be sure to do something so that you don't get bored"?

People, I live by myself (except very occasionally when my fab sometimes-roommate is in town) and EVERY DAY I have to figure out what to do. I'm telling you, it's NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

Sometimes it's a trail run (or in the winter, often a ski). Sometimes it's a little Battlestar Galactica or hacking around on my banjo. Sometimes it's slowly roasting a book in my BBQ and frequently squirting it with lighter fluid, and turning it over slowly on the grill with tongs. (Thanks for that one, John E. White).

Today it's "going for a snort" after work (as my friend Ralf calls going for a beer, even though that sounds more like it's about nose candy).

Anyway, my point is that being alone is not some kind of disease. Why do people do this? And on the flipside, if this is how people really think it should work, why don't I have people fawning over me day after day saying "oh you poor thing, do you need someone to watch Battlestar with you and endure how you periodically pause the disc to rant nonsensically about the plot?" or "Roo, I know, let's make dinner together tonight so you don't have to be alone."

Just a sec, I'll be right back when I'm done sobbing.

So the aforementioned Ralf - oh, you have to know that he's extremely misanthropic - and I for a walk today at lunch to get out of the freaking office on a beautiful day. We talked about his current relationship and how it's going surprisingly well. He explained "because C is French and her English, the nuances, isn't that good, she kind of doesn't know that most of what I say is toxic. I think that's why she still likes me."

Thank god I have plans to see them and a few others tonight. What else could I possibly do with myself?


At May 04, 2007 4:40 a.m., Blogger sgazzetti said...

My nuances aren't very good, so I am not entirely clear on whether this is a self-absorbed whinge about how you endure loneliness like the Count of frickin' Monte Cristo, or a lyrical paean to the joys of unimpinged-upon solitude.

I know that when my love goes away, which happens about twice a year for maybe a week or two, I certainly miss her, but have no trouble keeping myself entertained with teh internets, little projects involving velcro, and roasting paperbacks.

At May 04, 2007 9:18 a.m., Blogger banjeroo said...

Yeah, it's more a whinge about how there seems to be this strange fear-of-solitude that some couples develop.

Ooooh. Velcro projects! I'll add that to my list.

At May 04, 2007 11:31 a.m., Blogger John E. White said...

Being alone can be quite wonderful. When I got back from a field trip in which I was on the side of a mountain for six weeks with the same ten or twelve people (all A-type academics), I walked around in my apartment for about a week drinking beer and watching TV, mostly naked. People who always need to be with people are dullards.


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