Thursday, April 26, 2007


Last night I was wrassling with my four-year-old niece and two-year-old nephew. They bark, but their bite is ridiculously gentle. After a few minutes of them chasing me and pretending to be dragons, I "fell" to the ground -- you know, to help move the narrative along.

The four-year-old loosely tied up my hands and feet with winter scarves (she has just learned how to tie her shoes and is ready to practice on anything), and then they "attacked". This meant the nephew crouched on my back and cried out gleefully, "I'm balancing on you! I'm balancing on you!" and the niece hugged my legs and giggled. Then they threw the extra scarves around and screeched with laughter.

(They know this is a game they can only play with me, that they must never tie up other kids, but man, it's hilarious. If I can find a suitably anonymous picture of the antics, which my bro-in-law photographed, I'll post it. Thanks for making me think of this today, sgazzetti.)


At April 27, 2007 3:06 a.m., Anonymous blackbeltbarrister said...

I used to babysit two little boys who were obsessed with Return of the Jedi. One would play Han Solo and the other played Luke Skywalker and they asked me to play too. Okay, I said, I'll be Princess Leia! No, the older one said, You have to be Jabba the Hutt.

I tried not to take it personally.

At April 27, 2007 10:35 a.m., Blogger John E. White said...

Why can't they tie up other kids?

At April 27, 2007 10:59 a.m., Blogger banjeroo said...

They can't tie up other kids because they are two and four years old, and barely have control of their limbs, let alone their impulses.

Even with an adult like me moderating, they still come close to accidentally poking out my eyes and breaking my ribs. To me, they're hilarious; to other little kids, they could cause serious trauma: blood, terror, hospital visits.

At April 29, 2007 11:24 p.m., Blogger Hooker said...

the best is being in a pool with kids small enough to throw ten feet in the air. they are absolutely addicted to it once they get over the initial shock of "i shouldn't be up this high"

think about how big someone would have to be to throw a fully grown adult that high. it's kind of a bummer that there aren't benevolent cave trolls or ogres to throw us.

yes i've had a few.

At April 29, 2007 11:25 p.m., Blogger Hooker said...

beers. not benevolent cave troll friends.

At April 30, 2007 1:08 p.m., Blogger John E. White said...

hooker, you get two friends to do it. They stand to either side of you and catapult you into the air. You don't go quite as high as when you were a kid . . .

At May 12, 2007 8:29 a.m., Blogger Jonathan said...

Great post... brings back memories of just about every party, barbecue or outdoor thing we've been to with kids, and I naturally find myself sat on the floor with them playing.

I must have a sign on my head that says "huge climbing frame" to little kids.


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