Thursday, December 29, 2005

tongue biting

Happily married people always say that a big key to the success of their relationship is mutual respect.

Another secret a friend just shared with me is the biting of the tongue.

I'm not involved with anyone right now, but why not meditate on this again, before I find myself madly in love and possibly saying things I don't need to say and creating unnecessary stress? It can't be more obvious that not every thought is worth uttering aloud.

I don't mean that it's a good thing to suppress expressing important needs and feelings, or to entirely stop stating your preferences, but drawing on a wide range of reported experience (both mine and friends')... I wonder if one's sweetie really needs to know that you think their spagetti sauce might taste better if the veggies were sauteed in the garlic and onion first; or if they need to know that you really hate that dorky Jack Nicholson poster on the back of the closet door that they've had since college; or if they need to know that you find it annoying how they take off their socks in the living room and leave them there almost every evening; or if they really need to know that you think their mother cooks junk food and talks nonsense when the conversation turns to politics. Eat her velveeta and canned mushroom soup casserole, listen to her rant about the GST, and hush. Go make yourself a salad later.

Isn't it enough that your sweetie writes you goofy thoughtful customized poems on your birthday? makes your dinner for you no matter what time you get home? wipes all the hair up from the bathtub after their shower? gets up to feed the crying baby when you're wiped out from a long day? listens to your nonsensical political rants? loves you up like no one else? etc? etc? etc?


At December 30, 2005 2:06 p.m., Anonymous ms said...

Agree! An important goal; should become one of the standard marriage vows ;-)


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